GIRL 65
ACCIDENTAL CHICK GIMP GIRL
By this time I had become cynical and certain that though I would get to a hundred females dated, I would still be alone by the end of the hundred.
Chick Gimp Girl gave me no reason to imagine things would be any better.
I dated her by accident. I know it sounds funny, but AOL has a strange setup on its instant messenger buddy list. If you send an email to someone, it shows up on the list. I'd gotten hit on by this 26 year old with copper auburn hair from a town too far away to date. Two hours is unreasonable, and dating a woman twenty years my junior, while fun, is not exactly conducive to having an actual relationship. So we titillated each other with naked pictures. Her screen names was CHK_PMP. She said it had some meaning, but I just called her Chick Pimp Girl. The photos she sent were awesome. The best was of her, tied completely up, on her knees, her ass in the air, with this gigantic dildo shoved up her pussy. Her beautiful curving ass was completely red from being spanked. It was an awesome sight.
So one day an instant message window pops up, and I think it's Chick Pimp Girl, the achingly lovely 26 year old who loves to talk slutty but is too far over the horizon. So I typed:
Chick Pimp Girl, great to hear from you! Have you thought any more about taking my huge throbbing cock up your quivering asshole?
You see, Chick Pimp Girl loved all sex, including with multiple guys, but she refused to entertain the idea of having anal sex, so of course I bothered her about it all the time. It was our running joke. But this instant message window was from a different woman entirely.
The IM was from a woman who had a broken leg in one of her photos, and was not my type, and frankly, was a Polly Purebread type who seemed entirely unsexual. And, in fact, I hadn't heard from this woman in a month. I doubted she even recognized who I was.
So just as I was in shock realizing I'd asked some stranger if she'd decided to take my cock up her ass, she typed back:
Well, that is a bit forward for the first date, but perhaps the second!
So, there I am smiling, thinking I just scored by accident, with this case of mistaken identity, when the woman writes,
Why did you call me Chick Pimp Girl?
Think quick, I thought. I typed:
Sorry, I meant Chick Gimp Girl. You know, because of your leg cast.
Oh, she replied. That's cute. How's the writing going?
At least she remembered who I was, the writer boy.
So that's how I got a date with Chick Gimp Girl, and realized that she was a lot sluttier than she had ever indicated in the last IM we'd exchanged.
Trouble was, when she showed up, she was hideous. Her photos had been gorgeous, but in the flesh, yuck. I couldn't blame her for any dishonesty, though. Sometimes photos just do not capture the woman. There ya go.
Aside from being ugly, however, she didn't just make me suffer through the date, she made me sit there and go through her photo albums (she brought them to the café) which went back to 1973.
Jesus, was I ever glad to get out of there.
I was a bit hard to explain my "never kiss on the first date" rule when I'd basically asked if I could fuck her in the ass, but I just told her that my email and IM personality is slutty, while my in-person personality is a calm church-goer. I paused for a breath, hoping lightning wouldn't strike.
I didn't call her back.
Obviously.
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